


Trying to keep our feeling secretly covered

by Lettmar



Series: Legacies song based fics [4]
Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: After 2x16, Based On A Lauv Song, F/F, Fluff, Hosie, Light Angst, Lizzie is a nerd, Mutual Pining, No Landon hate, Romance, Underage Drinking, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:53:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25049476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lettmar/pseuds/Lettmar
Summary: Josie silently asks for the beer and laughs kind of bitterly at the situation "We have the worst timing, right?"Hope nods and thinks about how truthful that was, how time never lined up for them"The worst"Or Josie and Hope finally face their feelings
Relationships: Hope Mikaelson/Josie Saltzman
Series: Legacies song based fics [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1793353
Comments: 27
Kudos: 235





	1. with the way we're looking at each other

**Author's Note:**

> Song: There's no way - Lauv ft. Julia Michaels  
> I'm sorry for any mispelling or grammar errors  
> enjoy ;)

"You know, we crushed on each other around the same time"

"Really?"

Both girls were at a party at the Old Mill; after all that happened even Hope couldn't deny some sort of fun, she kind of needed it after being trapped in Josie's mind for days

"Yeah, I thought that by now Lizzie would have told you that" she smiles and take a swing at the sour tasting beer "I had a crush on you when I was fourteen"

They just sit together in silence for a couple minutes, the news downing on them, it wasn't awkward, it was just them. Sitting around the fire and surrounded by the people they loved

Josie silently asks for the beer and laughs kind of bitterly at the situation "We have the worst timing, right?"

Hope nods and thinks about how truthful that was, how time never lined up for them, first she was with Roman and all the disaster that happened after, and Josie was single, then Josie was with Penelope, and Hope was single, and now the Landon debacle 

Did she wanted that? did she wanted to have a shot with Josie and all that was stopping them was bad timing?

"The worst" she just agrees

The air is cold, the music is loud and the sky is starting to get cloudy, but all Josie could think is how the universe never gave them a chance 

She discreetly glances to the older girl next to her, she is staring at the fire with a longing look, her gorgeous blue eyes shining and a smile lingering in her mouth, probably a result of all the alcohol in her system 

For a second she thinks about them, in a way that she didn't in years, thinkd about how it would be to hold her hand and to be held constantly be her, about how their first date would be, if it would be awkward or just romantic, about how it would be to just close the distance between them 

"Do you think about how it could have been?" she flichs the second she asks and shifts her eyes to the ground, that question slips past her lips before she even have a chance to stop herself "If I had never burned that note"

Later she'll blame the alcohol 

The sound of laughter was circling the forest, witches, vampires and werewolves having a so necessary fun after all the tragedy that happened, illuminated by the fire, the moonlight and some yellow christmas lights everything looked even more magical 

Hope opens another beer "I try not to dwell on what ifs" she offers the beer to her, and the second their eyes catch she continues "But I think It would be nice"

The siphoner wishes she could make the time stop, so that they could, even for just a second forget about everything and everyone, because Hope Mikaelson id looking at her with so much love on her eyes; she's smiling and her expression mirrors the one she did when Josie told her about her crush and the note, many months ago, a genuine smile 

Josie doesn't know what to do, probably doesn't even know any words at this second. In the dim light of the woods, the firewood and the lights casting a yellowish orange shadow over them, she swores she never wanted to kiss anyone so badly 

She wanders if that is what love feels like, this warm and sunny feeling that excited her and didn't let her stop smiling, it was either love or the alcohol, because her heart is definitely doing a happy dance 

For a hour or at least for a few minutes Hope wants to forget about the rest of her life, wants to let go of the weight on her shoulders and all her responsibilities, to forget about everything and everyone, Because Josie Saltzman is looking at her so expectantly and so full of want, with her sparkly brown eyes and an inviting full lips that she bets would be so kissable and soft

And she wanders for probably the fifth time that night if maybe you could love more than one person at the same time, or if her heart was always reserved to this girl. For, the way that Josie is looking at her made that treacherous organ skip a beat and start dancing in her chest 

Hope watches as Josie smiles and says almost in a whisper "I think we would have made a hot couple" 

They are still staring at each other and they laugh, and it is so easy, so simple, so right 

Right there sitting together, surrounded by green and basking in the light of the fire they look like two teenage girls desperately trying to hold back, trying to just keep the tension in check 

"No doubt about that, everyone at the school would bow" Hope sips on the last of the almost forgotten beer before passing the rest to Josie, their fingers brush and she almost shivers at the sensation, her warm ones in touch with cold ones "Are you cold?"

Josie didn't even realised, her senses were so overwhelmed with what was Hope Mikaelson that she didn't registered the cold

She nods shyly and almost melts while she sees Hope take off her jeans jacket and give it to her

"You don't have to"

"And let you freeze? I don't think so"

"I could cast a warning spell"

"Yeah, but it's easier to just take my jacket" she passes her the piece of clothing "And relax, I ran hot anyways"

It is like being engulfed by a hug of the girl, warm and smelled like vanilla and the girl's perfume, she feels something in the pocket and takes out a silver flask 

"And what do we have here?"

The tribrid chuckles "Vodka" and takes it from her hands "Very disgusting and very strong"

Hope felt her cheeks burning at the view of Josie wearing her favorite jeans jacket, and she thankes the universe for the fact that the only light was coming from the fire, the Old Mill far enough that the christmas lights didn't really reach them completely, the jacket fits Josie so much better, like it was actually made for her, just like Hope thinks she was made for the siphoner

As soon as that thought crosses Hope's mind she openes the flask and drowns a little gulp of the liquid, it tastes awful, but, you know, nobody drinks because of the taste of the alcohol, more for the numbness it gave 

Opening her eyes after resenting the taste, she sees that Josie is staring so curiously that Hope comes close to her, their knees touching

"You know, Liz would probably have a heart attack if we were a couple" she smiles at the thought 

"Probably" Josie laughs "Would most likely point out my horrible taste in woman"

"As if, I'm quite a catch" Hope says, the alcohol buzzing in her mind

"Have to agree with you, badass and mysterious"

"And you're not so bad yourself, bossy and cute"

Josie tries not blush too much at the compliment

"So we would make the hottest couple, and Lizzie would freak out"

"Like the drama queen she is"

A laugh made them both look up, Raf was holding MG upside down while he drinks from the keg, everyone around is cheering as Kaleb counts out loud

It is good view and gives Hope a warm feeling; seen her friends, yes friends, having fun and just being stupid teens doing stupid teen stuff

Josie takes the flask that was on the tribrid hands, that just raises an eyebrow and smirks at her

"But I think that deep down she would be happy" she gulps a tentatively sip "God, this is really disgusting"

Hope smiles and mutters an I told you 

Josie wants to kiss that smile off her face, but just focus in try not to gag at the taste of the cheap vodka

"You think she would?" 

"Yeah, she would probably give you some bullshit about not hurting me" she takes another sip, because as disgusting as it was, it warmed her insides, a different warm then the one Hopes making her feel "And then she would gush about how she saw it happening a mile away and would probably help you with a first date"

Her heart hammers in her chest when she feels Hope take her hands and look deep in her eyes, with a playful smile on her lips 

"I would never hurt you" it's spoken with so much honesty "And wouldn't need help with a first date"

She is full on smirking at her now, proudly and almost arrogantly, a shiver wents through Josie 

"Really?"

"Yes, definitely wouldn't need" 

They are still holding hands, but neither cares about it 

"And what would you do?" the question came out in a whisper

The air around them is different now, charged with an emotion and an excitement that Hope would like to capture, she wants to hold on to the way Josie is looking at her, wants to tell her to stand still and paint her just the way she's right now, brown locks a little out of place and dangling off her shoulders, brown eyes shining and her blue jacket on top of her white blouse, looking like she is glowing with the orange light of the fire, contrasting with the green and black of the forest 

"Wouldn't you like to find out?" she responds teasingly 

And Josie pouts, she actually does

Hope feels her control slip and gets closer to the younger girl, they are inches apart now, she really wants to kiss her 

Maybe yes, all that kept them apart all this time was their fucked up timing and fucked up relationships 

Maybe she always knew that Josette Saltzman was made for her, even when they were younger and the girl would relentlessly try to befriend her, even after always being pushed away. And from some time to now it has became painfully harder to keep her feelings in check, principally after she almost lost the girl for darkness

Josie could have swear she could hear Hope's heart beating, or maybe it was hers. They're so damn close, their foreheads are almost touching and she can smell the vodka on the other girl's breath, can see glints of green in her blue eyes

She wants to kiss her soo desperately, years of crushing rushing back to her, their whole lives they were dancing around each other, first with their friendship and now...

"Hope"

"Yes?"

Josie closes the distance and their foreheads are touching now, and she wants to say everything, wants to do everything. But once again the universe wasn't giving them any chance 

"We have the worst timing"

The older girl smiles sadly, they most definitely have. She forces herself to back away from Josie. Because of Landon, of course she couldn't, not when there is Landon, her boyfriend that she loves and that right now is at the infirmary recovering from almost being killed 

"The worst"

At that second Hope remembers of everything and everyone, so she just nudges the girl playfully with her shoulder, earning a half-hearted laugh and sips on the vodka again

After a few minutes a slightly drunk Lizzie comes to them and demands their presence for a beer pong game where the three of them would destroy MG, they both just smile at each other and go back inside the Old Mill, their hands slightly touching, but never really


	2. there's no way it's not going there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, here's 3K words for u ;)  
> also, sorry for grammar errors, I tried  
> enjoy ;D

Way after midnight they go back to the school together. Only this time, too worried with a drunk Lizzie to stare at each other. The halls are dark and empty, the only sound coming off of them. Both girls trying their best to keep their minds off each other 

"Come on Liz, we're almost there." Josie wasn't trying to ensure her twin as much as she was trying to convince herself

For the third time, she felt goosebumps on her arms when they brushed Hope's as both supported Lizzie 

The blonde Saltzman is way too preoccupied to pay attention to her twin or care about where they are going

"Because you're hot, Hope and h-he looks like a very hairy Gollum," she laughed at her own joke, and kept on slurring "you know? like, not good enough, you are like... Josie, name a hot girl character, I can't remember the women in Lord of Rings."

Josie grunted and panted at the struggle that is to carry her sister through the dark halls. She was definitely going to pay for this later "Arwen?" 

Hope just laughs, the effects of the alcohol almost completely left her, leaving her a little light-headed. She can confirm that drunk Lizzie was the best Lizzie 

"Yes," she hisses excited "you are like Arwen, and deserve a hot elf for you, just like her"

"Ok Lizzie, I'll search for my elf."

Josie didn't want to argue with her sister, on that state of inebriation, about the fact that Arwen pair is Aragorn. Who isn't an elf 

Embarrassed, she looks over her sister and gives Hope a silently "sorry."

She wasn't recovered from their talk earlier. Hope's words ringing on her ears, and she was still wearing the girl's comfy and warm jacket 

Hope simply smiles at her and nods negatively, dismissing the apology. She's actually having fun carrying the blonde. Her eyes from time to time stray and focus on Josie. She's even cuter when concentrating, brows furrowed and pouty lips pressed in a frown 

Probably she overestimated her sobriety

Maybe after 15 minutes of stumbling through corridors and trying to stop Lizzie from making more nerdy references about Hope's love life, they finally made back to the girls' bedroom 

"Ok, Liz, go to sleep," Josie says softly as she takes her sister's shoes off "and get ready to feel awful tomorrow."

Spending her day with a grumpy and hangover Lizzie definitely wasn't on her plans. She glances at Hope, who's standing against the door with a soft smile on her face that makes Josie heart swoons 

In a caring and slow action, she puts a blanket over Lizzie, and immediately, both girls start to hear her snores 

"I always knew Lizzie was a nerd" 

"She'll probably threaten you tomorrow," Josie says in a low voice "Protect her reputation and all"

"You seem fairly aquatinted with it too"

"And you haven't even seen my knowledge on Harry Potter"

Hope smiles and crosses her arms, reclining on the door behind "let me guess, you're a Hufflepuff"

"That obvious?"

"I just know you," she shrugged "easy"

Josie after looking Hope up and down states "can't decide if you're a Gryffindor or a Slytherin"

They laugh a little and Hope rejoices in how easy it is to talk to her. How everything was easier 

"Lizzie won't be the only one to feel awful tomorrow," Hope whispers after a while. "I probably should go?"

It came out as a question because deep down it was. If Josie asked her to stay she would, for how long as the girl wanted

The door behind her is cold, just like the air coming through the window. Everything has been cold ever since they went back to the Old Mill earlier. If it was the lack of the fire or of the siphoner's body close to her, Hope wouldn't know 

With every thought that pops in Josie's head, she takes a step forward - Why she's feeling so drawn to Hope again? What happened between them? What changed? What should she do now? - until they are close again

If she was honest with herself, Josie would say that she dreamed of something like this for days. Ever since her heart understood that Landon was a mere distraction, just little dot on everything that she wanted. She got attached to him so fast and so easily because of Hope. Because both of them missed the same girl they loved

Their hands were shaking for the second time that night. The bedroom's illuminated only by the moonlight, casting a bluish light, and the clock on the wall signaled that it was already 2:45 but they didn't care

"Hope, what changed?" Josie asks quietly, even though she knows that her sister is way too passed out to be bothered by them 

"I don't know," Hope says rubbing her arm "Everything is kind of really confusing now"

And she was never really good with feelings 

"Do you still love him?"

For the second time, the question leaves Josie's lips before she can stop herself, so softly and sad that she flinches back a little. She wishes she hadn't asked the second it came out, the tribrid gives her a confusing look

"Yes" she starts and tries to remain calm but her head is fuming with red alarms. "But it's different now like isn't enough anymore"

"Enough?"

"Ever since I woke up I feel like something is missing"

Something had changed after everything they went through. Somewhere along the line, the friendship they so carefully crafted got entangled with old feelings. Sparked by the discovery of their childish crushes in each other 

Old feelings that hadn't really left

Hope loses the battle against her feelings and lifts her hand to Josie's cheek. Thumb caressing slowly, her insides twist when the girl closes her eyes, lingers and presses on the warm hand, moving her head slightly to the side, Josie's lips coming close to Hope's palm and the tribrid can't seem to look away

Like in a trance and still with eyes closed, the younger girl reaches and grabs Hope's unoccupied fingers and intertwines them.

Suddenly everything is warm again and Hope doesn't want to leave. Never.

Screw the universe. They can make their own timing, can make up for the missed opportunities originated by miscommunication and childish rivalry 

The air around then is thick with tension, and everything seemed to stop for them. Josie leans in and their lips brush heavenly. Hope's eyes close and hand travels from her cheek to the back of her neck, and she wants to press harder, wants to feel her body mold with the other girl's

"Can I..." Hope begins but trails off, what is she asking for?

She opens her eyes. In the dim light of the room finds out that Jose is already staring with eyes wide

"Do you really want to? It isn't just the alcohol talking?

"I'm not that drunk"

"I sure hope so"

God, she wants to kiss her. And by the way that Josie's eyes keep swaying to her lips she knows that she wants it too

"There's something I need to do first," she says and sighs "I can't do this to him"

"Okay"

They step apart, but this time it's with a subtle promise, so it feels less cold. She leaves. And if Josie realizes that she purposely forgot her jacket, she doesn't say anything 

Hope goes to sleep feeling uneasy, what is she doing? 

The next day starts with Hope throwing her alarm in the wall across the bedroom, shattering it to pieces. She curses her 5 hours ago self for thinking that mixing beer with vodka was a good idea. It's only after a good shower that she fully connects everything that happened the night before 

Landon is waiting for her outside her door, with a bright smile and pretty, loving eyes. He's there and guilt engulfs Hope because even if she hasn't done anything with Josie, she wanted to

She meets the siphoner's eyes at her chemistry of magic class, and immediately feels her chest tighten. She wants to do something about it, needs to do something about it

Sitting a few tables ahead Josie feels her face blushing, and curses herself for everything. She barely got any sleep, thinking and rethinking the night, her anxiety laughing at her and repeating over and over again the same thought

Would Hope really leave Landon for her?

She felt sick at that thought, is feeling right at the moment while the teacher starts the class, it was selfish on so many levels

Something Josie Satzman prides herself she isn't: selfish

She needs to do something about it 

After her classes, Hope decides she'll face one problem at a time. She avoids Josie's pleading and confusing eyes and goes straight to Landon's bedroom

"Hey"

"Hey, I've just downloaded the last of Handmaid's tale, wanna binge?

The boy is wearing a grey shirt, her favorite, the one with a couple of holes at the collar. His expression is tiresome, but with a hopeful smile that makes her heart stutter, but for a different reason than it used to be 

"Actually, I think we should talk," she says as closes the door

The room is like Landon and Raf, movies and sport's posts across the walls, a guitar by the side of the bed, and clothes littered all over. The windows are closed and the only light is coming from the bedside lamp, she knows it's 'cause Landon can't sleep with any light on. It all feels kinda suffocating now 

"Is something wrong?" he wonders, now with a frown

Hope didn't know how to say it, her small experience with dates and romance didn't really inspire confidence on her. The topic "breakup" wasn't even fully explored yet

How do you gently and carefully dump someone because you're in love with your best friend? 

She doesn't see many alternatives, and her thoughts are initiating to sway away from her control, but she tries her best to not let it show. She knows Landon would appreciate the truth, but her fear for his feelings makes her second guess this option 

"Hope?"

Trying to control her anxiety, she breaths slowly and sits beside him 

"I think we should break up," she confesses in the calmest voice she can manage 

"Why?"

"I love you, Landon, I do." She smiles sadly and tries to focus on anything but his eyes, focusing on his fingers in his lap, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, as if he already knows what she'll say "You showed me how amazing love can be"

Which is true. He showed her that love could be good and beautiful, different from her fleeting occurrences with it.

"But you also like Josie"

She's taken aback by his abrupt statement and gives him a confused look, he only laughs painfully and takes her hand, in a soothing and comforting way

"I said I would always be the guy who fights to get you back, but I'm not selfish, nor blind," he offers her a sad smile and her heart shatters a bit "after everything you've been through I can understand where this is coming from."

"How did you know?" it's all Hope can say

"You moved heaven and hell for her"

"I did that for you too"

She did. Because that's what Hope does for the people she loves

"I know," he releases her hand. "I don't want to let you go, but I also don't want to put you in a relationship that you're not 100% in. That wouldn't be fair, to any of us.

"I'm sorry"

"it's okay, you've been through so much," he holds her shoulders kindly and smiles lovingly at her "that I really don't know how you're still standing"

"We've all been through so much, I don't want to hurt you, I just can't lie to you about this"

"I get it. I'm giving you time, to figure it out and to choose, I know from experience it isn't easy" he gives her a knowing smile 

It wasn't what she was expecting, but Landon always had a way of surprising her, for good or for bad

Her arms rush for a hug. She buries her head on his shoulder and realizes for the first time how physically tired she is 

Hope leaves his room, feeling lighter; like she can breathe a little better. No more soul-crushing weight of guilt than the normal amount

Gathering all the bravery she still possesses, Hope knocks on the twin's door

"Hey" she tries, her voice a little shaky

Josie is wearing the same yellow sweater she used in class. Her eyes soften after taking in Hope's anxious look

"Hi, I was just going to look for you"

They stand there for a couple of seconds, staring at each other without really knowing what to do 

Hope sighs and smiles tentatively "I think we should talk" 

And, like a broken dam, as soon as they step inside the bedroom together, all the thoughts flowing uncontrollably in Josie's head pours out from her mouth

"I know we said somethings yesterday, and I wanted to say how sorry I am, I don't know if I regret saying it, but it was selfish and wasn't fair to you, you're with Landon and I shouldn't have done anything, I really don't kn-

Hope can't focus in anything but the girl, she reaches out and grabs her shoulders gently, pausing Josie, who is now thanking the universe for the fact that Lizze decided to go out with MG and wasn't scoffing at how much of a gay panic she was having 

"It wasn't selfish. It was putting yourself first, you gotta do that sometimes," Hope feels her cheeks flush and avoids the girls' eyes "You were acting on what you want... Right?"

"Yes" she almost whispers "doesn't make it right, though" 

For the first time, Hope takes a minute to actually take everything in, can see in Josie's shifting eyes and somber look that she's feeling guilty for going after her, even though they had not actually done anything

Her hands twitch at her side, begging for her to hug the girl. Maybe they can make it work, maybe they can make the time line up for them 

"I just came back from Landon's, we broke up"

Josie's heart pounded on her chest at those words, she looks at Hope's eyes and can see honesty and expectation on those gorgeous blue orbs

And decides to be careful 

"Why?" 

"You know why" Hope sighs 

"I don't like being the reason you two broke up, kinda makes me feel like a homewrecker"

She let her head fall a little, looking at her shoes. There were tears in her eyes, but she didn't know the reason for them, was is of sadness for them or happiness for herself?

The bedroom was silent for a while. Gold light pouring in from the few window cracks, illuminating them and giving the moment somewhat of an ethereal look 

A small chuckle brings her eyes back to Hope, the older girl raises a hand to push a stray curl of her hair behind her ear, making Josie shiver slightly 

"Landon was surprisingly fine with it," Hope says, remembering how gracefully the boy took it

"Really?"

"Yes, pretty sure he knows what it is like to be in love with you"

"In love, huh? 

Hope smirks sheepishly and picks Josie's hand, loving the way they fit perfectly. All these years they only held hands to perfect a spell, the girl siphoning Hope's magic and Hope willingly letting her take everything. All it took was a cute smile and wonderful brown eyes - plus the knowledge of their shared crush - And the girl was a goner 

"Maybe," she says and fully grins at the girl's blush "I really want to try this"

"I really like you, Hope, I can't pinpoint what or when everything changed, I can only curse on our bad timing

"Can I kiss you?" she fully asks, with no hesitation this time

Josie only nods slowly

As their lips touch, both girls feel like time stopped for them, years and years of secretly longing and crushing being released. After so many missed opportunities they were finally giving in to what they want. No more hidden feelings or other relationships on their way 

Hope's lips are soft and hard at the same time, trying to pour all her emotions on the action, leaving Josie overwhelmed by it. Her hands are holding her waist tightly as if she's scared to lose the girl, Josie wants to they the girl that it's okay, that she's not going anywhere, but at the same time, she doesn't want to stop kissing her.

Like nothing else. That's how Hope would describe kissing Josie, the girl gives herself into it like no one else she ever kissed, sure, she hadn't kissed many people, but this feels like belonging, like the fireworks she always read about. Josie's hands are pulling her close, holding on to the back of her neck and fingers intertwining in her hair in a way that has Hope's knees weak. Holding her like she's the most precious thing in the world 

Basking in the gold light both girl spring apart, Hope sees that Josie's eyes are still closed, like she's trying to gather herself after the kiss, so she kisses her again, this time softly, just a press of lips, but it warms her chest nonetheless. Josie smiles when they slightly pull away, and before Hope can step away, the girl bites her lower lip a little hard and smirks as she feels Hope's hands press harder on her sides 

Hope's mind goes blank for a while and all she wants to do is kiss her again, let go of everything right away and stumble into bed 

But, being raised by the Mikaelson's - well, sort of - she's nothing but a gentlewoman and regains control of herself, she opens her eyes and smiles brightly 

Josie can't put into word how much she loves Hope's smile, she smiles too and her arms, as if having a life of their own, hug the girl's waist. Seems stupidly cliched, but she can't stop smiling 

"So wanna go on a date?" Hope asks, excitement clear in her voice. But she doesn't care, she waited four years for this "or we could just watch Netflix while eating or weight in deserts"

Josie thinks she's never been happier in her 17 years of existence 

"I'd love to"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Liked it? hated it? could be better? let me know ;)

**Author's Note:**

> what do you think? like it? hate it?  
> comments inspire me ;)


End file.
